Children’s deceptions: looking for causes and preventable
For most parents, the deception of the child is perceived very painful. More recently, a kid was “innocent angel”, every action reflected only real. As time passed and came the first negative “the fruits of growing up” – deception and lies. Emotional behavior of the child develops into the logical form of the impact on adults. Instead of “tearfully begging”, there is a habit to lie, to lie, to deceive, to cheat and to “evade”. Because there are so many interesting and want to touch everything and take, and from adults and only heard “no”, “don’t touch, “to scold”. Curiosity pushes the child to get around restrictions by using your imagination, and you receive the children a lie. Parents begin to “sound the alarm” and try to find any ways to relieve your baby from bad habits.
How to start a hoax?
Child development occurs according to the principle “from simple to complex” and people say “small children small problems, big children, big problems”. The older the child becomes, the harder it is his upbringing. The problem of deception exists at any age and, as noted by scholars, to eradicate it is simply impossible. The main thing is to understand the cause of and be able to prevent bad results. We too were children, and know the consequences of the lie. There are problems with family, misunderstanding with friends, at school, changing self-esteem.
Maybe the lie is the norm?
Many psychologists believe children lie quite a normal phenomenon in the development of the child. Why? During the first five years there is rapid physical and psychological formation. The child receives a large amount of information and learns how to use it in everyday life. In his thinking there is a clear view of reality and fiction. Once the child begins to speak, the basis of his speech rests his logical thinking. He notices the world around him, and cannot understand or have complements fantasies. For example, every parent has seen children play in “mothers and daughters”. Girl “for fun” makes a soup of your doll, the “as if” cuts potatoes, salt. Even pretends to try to taste, and primative, saying: “very delicious.”
Particularly attracted the attention of young children adult things. They want to touch, try on the language to try. But, there it was! Adults are on guard and not allow the passage of “unnecessary” items in the hands of the child. Therefore, at the request of “give”, “I want to” hear the answer “no”. That is left to do to the child? He begins to fantasize how to quickly get “forbidden”. Restrictions from adults, become a kind of the impetus for the first children’s fictions. As your baby grows, his fantasies turn into “little” lies and can achieve a great deception. In education cannot do without taboos, permissiveness is not the way out. How to be parents in this situation? How can you explain to the child that cheating in any form is bad quality?
Several reasons for cheating
The first reason
Thinking about his alleged innocence, children do not pay attention to the consequences of cheating and the pain caused to loved ones.
Once it was on the television cartoon “jar of jam”. The story vividly reveals one of the types of children’s deception. It tells how a little girl lied to her grandmother. She really wanted to jam and after trying one bite, Masha – the heroine of the film – are unable to stop. And on the question of the grandmother: “mashenjka, where’s the jam?”, the girl pointed at the cat Murka. Most children have resorted to this method of deception to hide his guilt. The child does not want to be responsible for his acts and is trying all means to get away from the truth. He begins to compose the most incredible stories and is recognized at the last moment. Very nicely described the “shifting the blame” on another Nikolai Nosov in the story “the Dreamers”. Where the boy is showing off in front of their peers for their “ingenious” invention. Eating a jam, he put lipstick on his sister for her very severely punished mom.
The second reason
Growing up, children dream to look older. And so many boys and girls prefer “primireniy”.
And often contribute to such behavior by the parents. Their way of life in the pursuit of material wealth gives its imprint in the mind of the child. Then from simple fantasies born boastful lies. On the street I often hear: “but we each have a TV,” “I’ll buy everything I want”, etc. This negative imagination can lead the child to more serious problems with theft or Vice versa “avarice”. The second side such deception hidden in the lifestyle of adults, i.e. in the environment of the child. Solving their problems, men and women often forget about their children. Which increases the number of divorces, and the child grows in inadequate family. Boy or girl is not enough of the opposite to their sex education. Turns out one-sided vision of life. Psychologically disadvantaged child, once in the company of peers and watching a happy family, begins to write stories. Not to be a “black sheep,” he tells friends that his dad Philip or captain. False though it is in the child’s mind unnoticed, but acts like the most powerful drug. Seeing the positive reaction from the listeners, the children are getting used to deceive that leads to inflated self-esteem and wrong actions.
The third reason
Hostile deception by children occurs where there is no art of communication, and is rude and cruel.
Some parents, considering the main goal in raising a child “great” school, just a “peck” of children by their teachings. “If you bring a low rating, I don’t know what do to you!”- under such a strict motto of “child-Martyr” begins to think “sophistication”. At school, he can tell his teacher that his mom’s a drunk, and that the father is an invalid. Thus he avenges himself, as well as looking for pity on the side.
As parents to prevent cheating?
The imagination of your children are not a hoax as such. Because children themselves are born into this world as clean as a white sheet of paper. Blots curve and the slope of the letters depends on you. If you see that the child began to lie to benefit themselves, i.e. gain, you should think about. So there is a gap in your relationship with the child. Analyze the situation and try to figure out the causes of lies. Just so the child will not lie to compel him to do so under the circumstances. And if the parent does not fall into the “angry curses”, but with understanding and tenderness will treat the child, a positive result is obvious.
Fully cheating cannot be eradicated, you can simply explain to the child: “what is good and what is bad.” In this case, a very important example of the parents. So before you ask your child to answer the phone, the phrase “dad’s not home”, think about the consequences. Don’t forget to communicate more often with children on this topic. Tell them stories about themselves, their parents and ask questions. The answers will be visible, like a child would do in a similar situation. Also help the children to learn the “polite lie”. Exactly when not to speak “the truth”. For example, give your child a gift. He doesn’t like the thing, and he says, “I didn’t want a toy”, thereby offending gave. In this situation, you should say thank you, and emotions to hold.
Will whether you are raising your child an honest man, or “Manilova” living in lies and deception – it depends on you.