A Spoiled kid, problems and solutions
Many believe that between the words “not educated” and “spoiled” you can put a sign of equality. Only it’s not. Child indulge valuables, eternal indulging his whims and a complete lack of education. But the beneficiaries are those children whom the parents love it as much as needed. These children give gifts just because, and not when they require, they can do a lot, but not because parents feel some guilt. And this kid knows that if something goes wrong, he will be responsible for it. But the spoiled child thinks of himself as the Almighty. To him everything was always allowed any of his whim was fulfilled. He can hide in hysterics in the shop because something is bought, and do not understand the reasons why refused. He always bought and done just the way he wanted.
Signs of spoiled child
Here the family was a small man, parents can’t get enough of it and do everything that their little one is in no way needed. Sneeze and immediately fly up with a handkerchief; he wept, because I don’t get some sort of toy – please take it, just don’t cry. Hit someone on the ground complain, but in name only, and will think to themselves how good, can take care of himself. Such parents, there is always the explanation for bad behavior, because it is their most favorite baby in the world.
Sometimes, parents are very busy at work and trying to bribe the children with expensive toys. Over time, the gifts become more expensive, but the child ceases to appreciate them and grow selfish, emotionally cold and not being able to communicate with others.
Purchase and fulfillment of desires leads to the fact that the child does not understand why the parents did not buy the toy for Him. The lack of money for him is not an argument, he just does not understand because it is the same for Him. Such a child will throw a tantrum, fight and misbehave every time something will not happen according to his wish.
The reasons for the spoiled child
Psychologists have long observed that we raise our children either as raised us, or completely the opposite.
Most often the reason why parents spoil their child, is that they love themselves in childhood. And they try to give the children all had themselves.
Another reason why children grow up spoiled is a long-awaited child. The long wait or, conversely, a number of unsuccessful attempts, leads to the fact that when a baby is born, the world narrows to parents of this one man, so long awaited. His needs, his achievements and successes so pleased with them that eventually, the child begins to perceive himself as the center of the universe. Whatever he did, a storm of positive emotions, and parents no matter what he did, good or bad. Because it was done by a kid.
The last reason is a unique perspective on education. That is, the child shall not limit, punish and try to fulfill every desire, explaining that the child needs to develop and the limit would only slow his identity.
There is another, but, rather, it is a complex and fear of social opinion of parents. How would my child not call the poor, it must be only the best.
How not to spoil a baby?
You want your kids have all the best so that he will not be needed. To dress nice and tasty to feed, for many this is a sign of a good childhood. But don’t you think that is the criterion of happiness for you, not for your child? Initially he doesn’t care how much a toy or stroller. Children should understand what is and what is not. Must learn to respect others and their needs. Best for children – not material possessions, and your love. Not a fancy PC, but at least once a month, you can take the day off on the rides or in the circus. A real man is not a fight on the Playground, and answer for their actions. Because a day will come when even you will become the child’s only cash machine, as for him, but yourself nothing is important in life.
How to reform a spoiled child?
Some may say that any restriction is bad for the proper development of the psyche. And this is true. But do not fall into extremes. Fulfilling the desires of screaming children, you have only to show him that foreign interests will not be taken into account, all that matters is what he wanted. But with proper formation of personality and relationship-building with other child must learn to understand the line where it ends his identity and the identity of another begins. Telling the child “no” and “can” you do not harm, but help in setting certain limits in our relationships with others. Only thanks to the parents, the child learns to control their emotions, and to respond adequately to all the difficulties that he encounters in his life.
You will probably think, but to deny your sweet and beautiful little difficult. No you can’t. Only refusing to explain to him why not and why didn’t you buy him this toy. Most importantly do not start abruptly, otherwise the child will think that you have ceased to love him. Everything should be gradual. Convey to your child that you love him, you just upset his actions. He should know that he is still the same the best of the best for you, just a little confused in relationship with the world around him.
Do not allow such an error as failing today, next time you it was surrendered again and again to buy what you have demanded. Is your inconsistency confuses the child. He’s gonna figure it is worth a little cry, and your defense again slept.
Probably, this was happening to you, you go to the store and your child starts pounding feet, requiring you to buy something. You are shocked by such behavior, you’re uncomfortable and not think of anything worthwhile. You embarrassed buying that require just didn’t scream and go home, losing this battle. You should know that to such hysterics, only to have the house not far away. In such a situation it is better to try to clearly explain that to communicate with him you will only when he calms down. Be aware that as the child didn’t behave, the situation he’s in charge and watching the reactions of the adults. In the end, he will understand what his behavior is nothing he will not give. Hysteria is quick, if parents pretend they don’t care. The child’s behavior is always dependent on adults, an example of this is with dad baby behaves well, and my mom just unbearable.
If you have difficulty with rejection to the child, then at least try to delay the time to answer his requests. Not only is this waiting too long to do. He must learn to understand that there are other interests and this must be considered.
What grows up a spoiled child?
In the future the spoiled child will be hard. After all, when he gets all on demand, he also begins to relate to the world. Why bother, if everything get. Once in adult life, such children have a hard time making friends. Because from childhood they are taught that they are the best, and then these children much wonder why others do not appreciate this. Due to its spoiled by excessive attention from parents in childhood, these children lack social sense and don’t know how to give and take in return that is so necessary in adult life. They can’t learn and communicate, because nobody pays attention the way home.
Many parents try to explain any bad behavior of the child, to give some excuse, and just blind by his love. Which ultimately can lead to getting into bad company. Because, eventually, the child grows up and leaves home, and the understanding of social norms of behavior in society he is missing due to improper upbringing.
Such children do not know how to love and give to others, for them nothing is important except your own interests and nothing good is to come to an end. So love your children and indulge, only know the measure and all will be well.