Children in carousel divorce – developmental psychology
the Plan-prospectus manuscripts “Children in carousel divorce”
1. Prejudices about the divorce. Can a divorce be prosperous. The science part. How to learn to divorce psychologically competently. Family problems of women in Russia and abroad. Liability of spouses for their children’s fate. What are the consequences for the child, no family.
2. Family nest – a memory or a dream? The family integrity. What are the family. Patriarchal and maternal family. What mom and dad – fatherhood and motherhood, masculinity and femininity. Division of responsibilities – who in the family home? The resilience of the family. Problematic and harmonious family.
3. The path to divorce . Background separation. Dissatisfaction with the marriage. Desired or undesired children. Parent script. Contribution of the older generation in the family relationships. Rejection daughters-in-law and son-in-law. Giperprotektsiya. Parental feelings of grandparents to the child. The child as a hostage marital difficulties. Parent infantilism.
4. The first conversation. The decision to divorce and the training of the child. Methods of interviewing children of different ages. Typical mistakes divorcing parents: manipulation of the child’s feelings, mutual accusations of the spouses, the division of responsibilities with the child. Focus on the future, building a positive Outlook, attitude toward divorce as a transient event.
5. The answer of the child . Typical reactions of children of different age and sex: aggression, depression, care home, lower academic achievement, blackmail, the position of active resistance to the divorce of parents. What is happening through the eyes of a child: the collapse of stability in the world, the experience of pidatella by the passing of a parent. Recommendations for supporting the child from his family.
6. Grandmother and grandfather . The psychological purpose of the older generation. “Family roots” and “family clan” as a value. Parents and grandparents, stereotypy communication and overcoming them. Grandparents and grandchildren are a special type of relationship. Bad grandma. The emotional center of the family during the divorce. Family diplomacy is the buffer between the former spouses. Old men as assistants – problems and solutions. Who and how will help you in childcare.
7. New home. The problems of separation. Together and apart. A variety of solutions. Leaving his father in another house. If the mother returned to her parents. Moving to a new apartment. The life of a divorced couple in the same apartment. Peace and conflict exist. How to avoid communal squabbles. Conflicts with the child. Atypical situation – if a child lives with father, if it is picked up by grandma.
8. A new image of the mother. Emotional fatigue after divorce. When the mother and the father: the combination of the parent functions. The difference of reactions in boys and girls. How to raise a daughter and a son in the absence of men in the house. Changing attitudes to mother: at a younger age – accusation, shame, aggression, adolescence is a disappointment, the relegation of mothers from the pedestal after the divorce. In girls, the relationship to the mother as to the loser, the search for new role models. The boys accept a role only man in the house. Psychological exercises to create the image of the winner and raise credibility in the eyes of children.
9. Dad, you are my! The parting with her father. The difference of the experiences resulting from the death of his parents and after divorce. The feeling of giving up. Doubt in parental love. Neurotic strengthening the feelings of the child after divorce: transforming the father in an idol or its depreciation. Parental rights to the child. The contract is about communication. But if mom is against it? An extreme situation – mother hides the baby, the father steals. Alimony and gifts. Organisation of meetings – leisure and summer holiday. Time without the kids – time for yourself.
10. New relatives . The expansion of the circle of relatives if the mother and father after the divorce, give birth to new families. The appearance of a stepfather and a stepmother. If You got someone else’s husband. Children stepfather – how to build relationships? Friendship with children of his stepfather as a “support group” of children with similar fates. The emergence of a sister or brother. Jealousy. Strengthening attachment to their fathers, strengthening the link with the house. Two families instead of one – loss or gain? Ways organize life-world of a child living between two houses.
11. School and friends . As children discuss among themselves the issues of divorce. Search support. The illegal behavior of adolescents as a form of protest against family challenges. Forced a change of school. Adaptation to the class, achievement problems. The need of contact with teachers. Nepratelstvi mother’s side. Father and teachers. The usefulness of domestic and family entertainment. Not to push the baby out!
12. The child grew up . Long-term effects of parental divorce. The “victims” of divorce. Distrust of the opposite sex, the devaluation of the family. How to learn to build my own family. Continuation scenarios. A mixture of male and female roles in the family. The ratio of adults to elderly parents. Exercises for harmonization of attitude.